I had been to funerals before... It’s not like I didn’t understand death, but there’s something about watching someone die right in front of you that changes everything...
Jeffrey Hales
Dothan, AL
Throughout my life I have faced many challenges. Challenges that would crush most people, force them to quit and give up on their dreams. But no matter how bad things became, I always kept going. I refused to quit despite my circumstances. I have seen tragedies morph into triumphs and failures turn into successes. Although my life is absolutely not what one would call amazing, I know it's nowhere near over.
Through 43 years, I've learned that the road to success is not always easy. It’s often filled with twists and turns that leave us wondering whether we’re even on the right path. That’s exactly how I felt back in 2012 when I was encountering one problem after another yet again. As a young entrepreneur, dad, and husband, I had tried desperately to turn things around by going to seminars, workshops, listening to countless trainings, finishing my degree – you name it, I tried it – but nothing seemed to work. Like so many other times in my life, once again, I felt stuck and broken, kind of like a broken leg on a pair of glasses you try to fix with globs of super glue, but never seems to hold despite your best efforts. I kept telling myself, “Maybe one day I'll turn things around and write that book. If I’m lucky, GoWaiter will take off and we’ll never have to worry about money again." Every single day, I'd pray for a miracle, for God to intervene and turn my life around, to no avail.
Then, out of nowhere, one brisk October morning, I watched my wife head out the door - yet again - with that disappointed look on her face. The sun reflected off the dew-filled lawn, and the roads were busy with all the other early morning traffic. I went back inside and - for some strange reason - I thought of Eddie...
I felt nauseous instantly, as everything around me suddenly felt silent. Eddie never saw it coming. I watched as he stood, clinched his chest with one hand, grabbed for a support beam with the other, and slid straight down. In a state of panic, I trembled struggling to keep my composure like you’re supposed to do in an emergency. People were hysterical running every direction imaginable as I just stared at Eddie laying motionless on the sidewalk. I could see an increasing amount of blood under and around his body. I kept thinking he would be ok. I wanted to help him myself, but I didn’t know what to do. I just stood there, staring, jaw wide open, as if I was watching a TV show instead of real life. I suppose shock does that. And, as I stood there crying, looking at that poor kid lying on the cold concrete in front of me, the only thought that I couldn't escape was, "He'll never get to be someone's grandpa." It felt like hours until the police and paramedics arrived, even though in reality they were there within minutes. All the students (witnesses) were whisked away from the crime scene into the high school library, and then the thought hit me. He was already gone. They weren’t going to be able to save him. The boy who was so full of life just moments ago – playing nonchalantly during a break in classes – was dead. That’s when i lost it. There I was, just a boy myself, overtaken by despair. Death does strange things to people. Suddenly life was different – finite and unpredictable. That happened more than a quarter century ago at Marianna High School...
We’ve all been told that life is short and we are not guaranteed tomorrow, but for the first time I understood the harsh reality of what those words really mean. That day, a simple twist of fate changed everything for me. I couldn’t help but think, “What if that had been me instead of him?" Even though Eddie was loved, and has always been remembered as a good kid, my life would have meant nothing. Perhaps no one would remember me...
I have so many regrets. The truth is I’ve spent so many years running from my past, pretending I didn’t care about my childhood dreams, and cleverly convincing myself that someday things would be different. But when I look back, and think about Eddie, his body lying there, someday had suddenly became today. “He will not have died in vain. I will turn things around,” I thought. Even though I didn’t know it at the time, God had already granted me the miracle I had been praying for – his death changed my life.
More importantly I've just taken what I've learned and shared it with you and others, so that more lives can change. I want you to create the success you desire, and break through any obstacle that’s holding you back. Achieving success doesn’t have to be hard, and you don’t have to struggle for 27+ years to reach your goals like I'm still doing. Living your dream life is possible when you take control of your destiny and master the inner game of success. Contrary to popular belief, success is an inside job - it starts within you. What you think and believe about yourself, your life, and your potential will either set you up to succeed or set you up to fail. Your thoughts and beliefs are your reality. When I was struggling most, I was focused more on my problems, the challenges I faced, and the weaknesses I believed were preventing my success. Many people find themselves in similar situations, plagued by negative thoughts and limiting beliefs. If you’re someone who thinks and believes things like, “I’m not good enough, I don’t have enough, or I’m just not that lucky,” those thoughts will continue to define your reality. Your thoughts and beliefs will show up in the way you work, the way you talk, and even in the choices you make. Trust me on this! But by simply changing your focus area you will change your thoughts, and ultimately, your life. Just imagine what your life would be like if you actually believed you could achieve your goals and reach your dreams. What would happen if you stopped accepting all the limitations and reasons why you can’t do something? Instead of listening to doubters, haters, or your own negative thoughts telling you, “You’re too old for this,” or “You don’t have enough education for that," what would your life be like if you said, “I can do this,” and then went out and actually did it? Today is a new day, a fresh start, and a second chance to live your best life. I strongly urge you to take action, and create the life and/or business of your dreams.
Now, about that book...
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I hope you have taken something away from this story that will inspire you to inspire others. If I can help you in any way, please email me direct: jhales4957@gmail.com ...
I will always be here for whomever needs a word of encouragement, or any help whatsoever. Thanks again for reading my blog!
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